poor fella ..still recovering...

A wife asked her husband to describe her.

He said, 'You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.........

She asked: 'What does that mean?'

He said A for Adorable, B for Beautiful, C for Cute, D for Delightful, E for Elegant, F for Foxy, G for Gorgeous, H for Hot..........

She said, 'Oh that's so lovely. And what about I, J, K?'

He said I'm Just Kidding... The husband is still recovering........

Impossible Wish

Impossible Wish:

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer... suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.

The man said "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want" the lord said "your request is very materialistic, Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, The support required to reach the bottom of pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! it will nearly exhaust several natural resources, I can do it, but it is very hard for me to justify your desire wordy things, Take a little more time & think of something that would honor and glorify me".

The man thought about it for a long time, finally he said "Lord I wish that I could understand my wife, I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy".

The Lord replied, "You want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge"

Domestic help on Facebook :))

Great . Very funny. Made me laugh. Hilarious.

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.), M:9324225699 :
Tholiya Bhavan,
10th Road , Santacruz east, Mumbai 400055

ONLY AUTHENTIC FREE MATRIMONIALS WEBSITE FOR DIGAMBAR JAINS: www.digambarjains.com/

For Issues of women in distress: http://womendignity.blogspot.com/

For Issues of Sr. citizens : http://varishthanagrik.blogspot.com/
Issues of Public interests : http://aloktholiya.blogspot.com/

http://tenantsoftholiyabhavn.blogspot.com/
For education funds : http://ngoandsociety.spaces.live.com/default.aspx

Also subscribe to my very popular yahoo group for mails on ahead of time views: Send blank mail to: menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

 precious collections: http://beautifulwe.blogspot.com/

 

--- On Sat, 19/3/11, Suman Kapur <kapursuman@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Suman Kapur <kapursuman@yahoo.com> Subject: Facebook :)) To: fundoman@rediffmail.com Date: Saturday, 19 March, 2011, 10:54 AM very funny..!!    Facebook :)     Madam: U …Useless Bai !!!.. Why didn't you come last week? And that too without informing me?????? Kamwali Bai: O Myadam... I had updated my Facebook status as "Will be out of town for a week..". Saaheb knows it. He even commented "Come soon... Miss U!!"

Job Offer!!

HUMAN RESOURCE DEPARTMENT
McDERMOTT INTERNATIONAL LIMITED,(MALAYSIA)
Level25, Tower7, PETRONAS TWIN TOWERS,
KUala Lumpurcity Centre,
50088 Kuala Lumpur Malaysia .
Tel: +60 16298 9597 Fax +603 2033 4506

ATTN: APPLICANT

INTERNATIONAL EXPATRIATE OFFICIAL JOB ONLINE INTERVIEW
Your name has been shortlisted/Chosen among the Lucky expatriates who
submitted their CV ONLINE FOR JOB , before we issue you
the Letter OF approval and the Contract Documents, You have to complete the following
information and send it back to us through this email:
job.McDermott1@gmail.com
Full Names
City:
State:
Country:
Zip code:
Sex:
Phone:
Age:
Marital Status

Get back to me as soon as possible through the email below.
Email :
job.McDermott1@gmail.com
Bar.ABDUL BARI
Head of Recruitment Service
McDERMOTT INTERNATIONAL LTD. ( MALAYSIA )

Congratulations!!

THE HONDA,CR-V,LX COMPANY.
520 London Rd Slough,GL3 7QY,
United Kingdom
Reference Number:HONDA:652-662/25.
Dear Winner,
Congratulations, you have just won a brand new HONDA CR.V LX car
and a cash prize of Ј500,000.00 {Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds(GBP)
in the satellite software email lottery. On line Sweepstakes
International program held on March,2011. Conducted by HONDA LOTTERY BOARD in which
your e-mail addresses was-pick randomly by software powered by the Internet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Officer Name: Mr.Morrison Grey.
Email: hondaclaims01@hotmail.com
Phone: +44-7031880733
Honda LX.House-London.UK
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Below is the claims
and verifications form. You are expected to fill
and return it immediately so we can start Processing your claims:
1. Full Names:.........
2. Residential Address:....
3. Direct Phone No.....
4. Fax Number.........
5. Occupation:.......
6.Sex:................
7. Age:...............
8.Nationality:.........
9. Annual Income:.......
10.Won Before:...........
11.Batch number:AT-040SB06-03
12:Ticket Numbers:2752246896
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We wish you the best of luck as you spend your good fortune. Thank you
for being part of our commemorative yearly Draws.
Sincerely,
Mr.Morrison Grey
Honda CR.V.LX Promotion Team

Honesty pays........Good one....

Two guys were lost in the Sahara desert .One is David, the other is Michael .They were dying of hunger and thirst when they
suddenly came upon an oasis, with what looked like a minaret of a mosque in the middle .David said to Michael : "Look, let's
pretend we are Muslims,otherwise we'll not get any food or drink.I am going to call myself Mohammed.

"Michael refused to change his name. He said :" My name is Michael , and I will not pretend to be other than but who I am."The Imam of the mosque
received both well and asked about their names.David said : "My name is Mohammed ."Michael said : "My name is Michael. "The
Imam turned to the helpers of the mosque and said :" Please bring some food and water for Michael only ."Then he turned to
the other and said :" Well, Mohammed, Ramadhan Mubarak!!!!

CONGRATULATION'S YOU HAVE WON A BRAND NEW LAPTOP TOYOTA CAMRY CAR AND $800,000.00 US DOLLARS

TOYOTA  AUTOMOBILE COMPANY
22 GARDEN CLOSE STAMFORD,
LINC'S,PE9 2YP, LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM.
EMAIL: toyotaautomobile@live.co.uk
PHONE: (+44) 701-7500-689
FAX  :  +447 0175 00578
WEB SITE: www.toyota.com/camry 

 

WINNING NOTIFICATION.

DEAR E-MAIL OWNER

 

This is to inform you that you have Won a Brand New Laptop with Cash prize of $800,000.00 US Dollars. (Eight Hundred Thousand US Dollar's) for the Yearly Award promotion which is Organized by Toyota Automobile Company, Your Email was selected by the Microsoft Corporation which Always Supplied this Company With Fifty Thousand Email Addresses Of  Active Internet Users Yearly,  And Your Email Address Was Submitted as One of the Active Internet Users For the Year 2011. After Email Address are Been Submitted to Us For the Random Selection By Microsoft Corporation, we only select ten people's  as our winners, through electronic balloting System without the winner applying.

        These are your identification numbers

 

Ticket Number:   07923425896/2020

Serial Number: TAAP/556543450906

Lucky Numbers:         7/4/11/58/01/30 

 

Contact Person:

 

DR, Frank Richard.

(FUND MANAGER)

E-mail: toyotaautomobile@live.co.uk
Phone: (+44) 701-7500-689

Website: (http://www.toyota.com)
    
VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM
YOU ARE ADVISE TO FILL THE INFORMATIO BELOW AND SEND IT TO
{toyotaautomobile@live.co.uk}

 

1. FULL NAMES:..........................

2. ADDRESS: ............................... 

3. SEX: ......................................... 

4. AGE: ........................................ 

5. MARITAL STATUS: ...............

6. OCCUPATION: .......................

7. E-MAIL ADDRESS.................. 

8. TELEPHONE NUMBER: ........

9. MOBILE NUMBER:...............  

10. AMOUNT WON:.....................

11. WINNERS STATE...................

12. WINNERS COUNTRY:...........

13. ANY IDENTIFICATION (Driving License/passport)

If the Lucky Winner's do not contact claims agent within 7 working days of this notification, his/her  winnings would be revoked. Winners are advised to keep their winning details/information away  from the public to avoid double claim.

 

I want to Congratulate You in Advance and Please Do Not Forget to Help the Poor in the Society When Toyota Automobile Company Makes You a Beneficiary of their World of Wealth.

Yours Faithfully

DR, Frank Richard

Chief Executive (CEO)

Toyota Automobile Company England.