मेरा कुत्ता भी फेसबुक पर है

 

मेरा कुत्ता भी फेसबुक पर है   काम वाली बाई एक दिन अचानक काम पर नहीं आई तो पत्नी ने फोन पर डांट लगाईं अगर तुझे आज नहीं आना था तो पहले बताना था   वह बोली - मैंने तो परसों ही फेसबुक पर लिख दिया था क़ि एक सप्ताह के लिए गोवा जा रही हूँ पहले अपडेट रहो फिर भी पता न चले तो कहो   पत्नी बोली = तो तू फेसबुक पर भी है उसने जवाब  दिया - मै तो बहुत पहले से फेसबुक पर हूँ साहब मेरे फ्रेंड हैं !   बिलकुल नहीं झिझकते हैं मेरे प्रत्येक अपडेट पर बिंदास कमेन्ट लिखते हैं मेरे इस अपडेट पर उन्होंने कमेन्ट लिखा हैप्पी जर्नी, टेक केयर, आई मिस यू, जल्दी आना मुझे नहीं भाएगा पत्नी के हाथ का खाना   इतना सुनते ही मुसीबत बढ़ गयी पत्नी ने फोन बंद किया और मेरी छाती पर चढ़ गयी गब्बर सिंह के अंदाज़ में बोली - तेरा क्या होगा रे कालिया ! मैंने कहा -देवी ! मैंने तेरे साथ फेरे खाए हैं वह बोली - तो अब मेरे हाथ का खाना भी खा !   अचानक दोबारा फोन करके पत्नी ने काम वाली बाई से पूछा, घबराये-घबराए तेरे पास गोवा जाने के लिए पैसे कहाँ से आये ?   वह बोली- सक्सेना जी के साथ एलटीसी पर आई हूँ पिछले साल वर्माजी के साथ उनकी कामवाली बाई गयी थी तब मै नई-नई थी जब मैंने रोते हुए उन्हें अपनी  जलन का कारण बताया तब उन्होंने ही समझाया क़ि वर्माजी की कामवाली बाई के भाग्य से बिलकुल नहीं जलना अगले साल दिसम्बर में मैडम जब मायके जायगी तब तू मेरे साथ चलना !   पहले लोग कैशबुक खोलते थे आजकल फेसबुक खोलते हैं हर कोई फेसबुक में बिजी है कैशबुक खोलने के लिए कमाना पड़ता है इसलिए फेसबुक ईजी है   आदमी कंप्यूटर के सामने बैठकर रात-रातभर जागता है बिंदास बातें करने के लिए पराई औरतों के पीछे भागता है   लेकिन इस प्रकरण से मेरी समझ में यह बात आई है क़ि जिसे वह बिंदास मॉडल समझ रहा है वह तो किसी की कामवाली बाई है जिसने कन्फ्यूज़ करने के लिए किसी जवान सुन्दर लड़की की फोटो लगाईं है सारा का सारा मामला लुक पर है और अब तो मेरा कुत्ता भी फेसबुक पर है

You won 1,000,000 Great British

We the loopy lottery organizers hereby inform
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Confirm your winning numbers published on our
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poor fella ..still recovering...

A wife asked her husband to describe her.

He said, 'You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.........

She asked: 'What does that mean?'

He said A for Adorable, B for Beautiful, C for Cute, D for Delightful, E for Elegant, F for Foxy, G for Gorgeous, H for Hot..........

She said, 'Oh that's so lovely. And what about I, J, K?'

He said I'm Just Kidding... The husband is still recovering........

Impossible Wish

Impossible Wish:

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer... suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.

The man said "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want" the lord said "your request is very materialistic, Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, The support required to reach the bottom of pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! it will nearly exhaust several natural resources, I can do it, but it is very hard for me to justify your desire wordy things, Take a little more time & think of something that would honor and glorify me".

The man thought about it for a long time, finally he said "Lord I wish that I could understand my wife, I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy".

The Lord replied, "You want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge"

Domestic help on Facebook :))

Great . Very funny. Made me laugh. Hilarious.

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.), M:9324225699 :
Tholiya Bhavan,
10th Road , Santacruz east, Mumbai 400055

ONLY AUTHENTIC FREE MATRIMONIALS WEBSITE FOR DIGAMBAR JAINS: www.digambarjains.com/

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--- On Sat, 19/3/11, Suman Kapur <kapursuman@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Suman Kapur <kapursuman@yahoo.com> Subject: Facebook :)) To: fundoman@rediffmail.com Date: Saturday, 19 March, 2011, 10:54 AM very funny..!!    Facebook :)     Madam: U …Useless Bai !!!.. Why didn't you come last week? And that too without informing me?????? Kamwali Bai: O Myadam... I had updated my Facebook status as "Will be out of town for a week..". Saaheb knows it. He even commented "Come soon... Miss U!!"

Job Offer!!

HUMAN RESOURCE DEPARTMENT
McDERMOTT INTERNATIONAL LIMITED,(MALAYSIA)
Level25, Tower7, PETRONAS TWIN TOWERS,
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50088 Kuala Lumpur Malaysia .
Tel: +60 16298 9597 Fax +603 2033 4506

ATTN: APPLICANT

INTERNATIONAL EXPATRIATE OFFICIAL JOB ONLINE INTERVIEW
Your name has been shortlisted/Chosen among the Lucky expatriates who
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the Letter OF approval and the Contract Documents, You have to complete the following
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job.McDermott1@gmail.com
Full Names
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Sex:
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Get back to me as soon as possible through the email below.
Email :
job.McDermott1@gmail.com
Bar.ABDUL BARI
Head of Recruitment Service
McDERMOTT INTERNATIONAL LTD. ( MALAYSIA )

Congratulations!!

THE HONDA,CR-V,LX COMPANY.
520 London Rd Slough,GL3 7QY,
United Kingdom
Reference Number:HONDA:652-662/25.
Dear Winner,
Congratulations, you have just won a brand new HONDA CR.V LX car
and a cash prize of Ј500,000.00 {Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds(GBP)
in the satellite software email lottery. On line Sweepstakes
International program held on March,2011. Conducted by HONDA LOTTERY BOARD in which
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Officer Name: Mr.Morrison Grey.
Email: hondaclaims01@hotmail.com
Phone: +44-7031880733
Honda LX.House-London.UK
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Below is the claims
and verifications form. You are expected to fill
and return it immediately so we can start Processing your claims:
1. Full Names:.........
2. Residential Address:....
3. Direct Phone No.....
4. Fax Number.........
5. Occupation:.......
6.Sex:................
7. Age:...............
8.Nationality:.........
9. Annual Income:.......
10.Won Before:...........
11.Batch number:AT-040SB06-03
12:Ticket Numbers:2752246896
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We wish you the best of luck as you spend your good fortune. Thank you
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Sincerely,
Mr.Morrison Grey
Honda CR.V.LX Promotion Team