wife and educated children know it all....

Truly a statement of century. In my case some of my family members know it all and thus condemn me being online. 

 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya,

And the WINNER is...

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica , 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.

No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

(Statement of the Century)

YOU IDIOT !! Why didn't you keep two mistresses !!!!

New Sindhi Calculation !!

A Sindhi millionaire, to maintain a mistress in Hong Kong, bought a
house in his own name for her to live in, plus gave her a monthly
allowance of $5,000. The house cost him $700,000 in 2006.

He sold the house this year for $3.8 million, after they broke up. A
quick calculation shows that after 5 years of a fling with the woman,
he still had a net gain of $2.8 million plus six years of FREE SEX.

When his wife found out about this, she was very mad at him and gave
him a big mouthful...

She yelled at him and said......
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YOU IDIOT !! Why didn't you keep two mistresses !!!!

laught all the way...

पप्पू ने FM रेडियो में फोन किया .. और कहा -:
...
मुझे न्यू रोड पे एक पर्स मिला है .. जिसमे 15000 /- रुपये, एक क्रेडिट कार्ड और
उसमे रहमान मलिक के नाम का आई डी मिला है .
..
रेडियो जॉकी (RJ )-: वाह आप कितने ईमानदार हैं क्या आप उन्हें वो पर्स वापस करना चाहेगे ..??
..
पप्पू -: नहीं .. मै चाहता हूँ के उनके लिए एक सेड सॉंग बजाया जाये

Never Clap on Women’s Speech!

ELEVEN PEOPLE ON A ROPE

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all,   so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping ...

Moral of the Story: Never Clap on Women’s Speech!

where the Hell were you when I got married?'

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.'

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. 'Who are you?'

'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered.

'Oh, yeah?' the man said 'And where the Hell were you when I got married?'

. But not the poor Groom !

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced :

'Ladies and Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life ...' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my Credit Card to me.'

The whole audience including the priest started laughing . . . . . But not the poor Groom ! 

Four Annas :

1. What is the difference between Einstein and Karunanidhi?

Einstein said that everything is relative whereas Karunanidhi

says that relative is everything

2. Why is Bangla Desh not sending a contingent to Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump or swim, has already crossed

the border of the country

3. Why did UPA Government demonetise 25 paise coins?

They could not manage one Anna, how could they manage four annas?

4. 100 phones tapped each day per operator.

Finally here is a government that listens to people.

5. Vote for Baba Ramdev.

He'll be the PM who can help you make your ends meet. Your head and toe, that is.

6. Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance.

They can call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD, for short.

7. Some days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense.

Other days, he is silent

8. Why people consider alcohol to be a problem.

Chemically speaking, it's a solution.

9. Title of a documentary on Kingfisher's planes - "Saare Zameen Par"