If wife kisses every time

If wife kisses every time U come back home, remember its not affection,
its INSPECTION of 
daru,
perfume
or 
Lipstick

Be Careful.
Janhit me jari..

where and how much to use your strength....something in lighter way to laugh

एक आदमी किसी कॉलेज के टॉयलेट में गया...
अंदर टॉयलेट सीट पर बैठा तो देखा सामने दिवार पर लिखा हुआ था-

"इतना जोर अगर पढ़ाई में लगाता तो आज किसी अच्छी सीट पर बैठा होता !"

A Marwari salesman

A Marwadi Salesman

New MBA (Marketing) curriculum:

To add a valuable lesson from a pragmatic Marwadi Salesman.

 

A keen immigrant Indian Marwadi lad applied for a salesman's job at  London's premier downtown department store - the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

 

The boss asked him: "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

 

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in India," replied the lad.

 

The boss liked the cut of him and said: "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see how you do."

 

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked: "How many sales did you make today?"

 

"Sir, Just ONE sale," said the young salesman.

 

"Only one sale?" blurted the boss. "No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale worth?"

 

"93,30,05,34/- Sterling Pounds," said the young Marwadi.

 

"What!!! How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

 

"Well" said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he'd be needing a boat. I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4 x 4 Blazer.

 

I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to the camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about 100 Stlg. Pounds worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

 

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment: "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook????!"

 

"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Sir, Your weekend's spoiled anyway, you might as well go fishing."

 

Boss: "You better sit in my chair....... .!!"

 

 

 

Marriage v/s Divorce

पहला - मैं शादी करने जा रहा हूँ क्योंकि

कपड़े धो-धो कर, झाड़ू लगा-लगा कर और

बाहर का खाना खा-खा कर मैं तंग आ गया हूँ !

दूसरा - कमाल है ! बिलकुल इन्ही वजहों से

तंग आकर मैं तलाक लेने जा रहा हूँ !!!

Odd demands and fit reply

पति--आज ऐसी चाय बनाओ कि पीते ही तन बदन झूमने लगे और मन नाचने लगे । 
पत्नि--हमारे यहाँ भैंस का दूध आता है नागिन का नहीं:))))

Square Testicles

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?' The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.' The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?' Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.' Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them.. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.' The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Canada !' The origin of this Canadian story is unknown but it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent. Whoever breaks the chain would definitely be unlucky. Do not keep this letter. And do not send money. Just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck. Something good will happen to you in the next four days. If the chain is not broken, you will have good luck during the four days.

Unspoken truth experienced by all....

1. Quote on a man’s T-shirt:

All women are devils...
But my wife is QUEEN of them!

2 Man was sent on earth to suffer...
Woman was sent to make sure it happens!
 
3. A man asked for poison.
Chemist refused, since it required prescription.
He showed his Marriage Certificate.
Chemist: Thank you.  What size would you like?

4. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and other is husband!

5. Husband & Wife always compromise.
    Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him.

6. Husband & wife had a long argument.
    Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN or be HAPPY?

7. A man speaks 25000 words daily,
a woman speaks 30000 words.
Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000, & wife         begin her quota of 30000 words!


8. Two things in life are difficult to achieve:
     (1) to plant your idea in someone’s head, &
     (2) to plant somebody’s money in your pocket.

*   He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER;
*   He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT;
* the one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE; &
*   the one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND!
 
9.  No one teaches a volcano how to erupt...
     No one teaches a tsunami how to arise…
     No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around...
     No one teaches a man how to choose a wife…
     Natural Disasters just happen…!!!

10. Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
      The mafia wants either money or life...
      The wives want both!

11. Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?'
Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'.

12. Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.  It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

13. Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.  Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

14. Whisky is a brilliant invention…
      One double and you start feeling single again.