hansi khushi zindagi

 Padosi: Yaar tere ghar se roz hansi ki awaz aati hai... Is khush haal zindagi ka raaz kya hai?

Aadmi: Meri Biwi mujhe jooton se maarti hai,
Lag jaay to wo hansti hai,
Na Lage to main hansta hoon.
KHUDA ka shukr hai, hansi khushi zindagi guzar rahi hai.

wife knows everything

laugh laugh and laugh

Wife

1. Mistakes 'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."- Shakespeare "Laughing At Your Wife's Mistakes,Can Shorten Your Life"- Shakespeare's Wife

2. Four stages of marriage: Mad for each other, Made for each other, Mad at each other Mad because of each other 3. What's Marriage? Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense of Humans That Destroys All The Six Senses And Makes The Person NON Sense...! 4. Definition Of Happy Couple - HE Does What SHE Wants… SHE Does What SHE Wants. 5. Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command. Husband: Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband!!!

Marriage Gyan

Marriage Gyan       1. How BEDROOM smells       After MARRIAGE:  1st 3 yrs---perfumes, Flowers, Chocolate, Fruits..       After 3 yrs---Baby powder, Johnsons Cream and Lotions, Baby oils..       After 15 yrs---Zandu Balm, Vicks, Iodex, Relispray..       After 40 yrs---Agarbatti...   ***********************************************       2.Four stages of marriage:       Mad for each other,       Made for each other,       Mad at each other       Mad because of each other       3.What's Marriage?       Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense of Humans       That Destroys All The Six Senses       And Makes The Person NON Sense..!       4. Definition Of Happy Couple -       HE Does What SHE Wants.       SHE Does What SHE Wants.       5. Wife to Husband: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.       Husband replies: Exactly darling! It's a computer, not a Husband..!!       6.'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes,  Can Lengthen Your Life."-  Shakespear       "Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes,  Can Shorten Ur Life."-  Shakespear's Wife       7.Wife to Husband Agar meri shaadi kisi " Raakshas" se bhi ho jaati taw  mai itni Pareshaan nahi hoti jitni tumare saath hun.       Awesome Reply   Husband :  Are pagli, Blood Relation may shaadiyan kahaan hoti hain.. !!!

Wife is always right

Pati : Aaj sabji mei namak thoda zyada lag raha hai..
Patni : Namak barabar hai...Sabji thodi kaam thi... 
★★Wife is always right★★

If wife kisses every time

If wife kisses every time U come back home, remember its not affection,
its INSPECTION of 
daru,
perfume
or 
Lipstick

Be Careful.
Janhit me jari..

where and how much to use your strength....something in lighter way to laugh

एक आदमी किसी कॉलेज के टॉयलेट में गया...
अंदर टॉयलेट सीट पर बैठा तो देखा सामने दिवार पर लिखा हुआ था-

"इतना जोर अगर पढ़ाई में लगाता तो आज किसी अच्छी सीट पर बैठा होता !"

A Marwari salesman

A Marwadi Salesman

New MBA (Marketing) curriculum:

To add a valuable lesson from a pragmatic Marwadi Salesman.

 

A keen immigrant Indian Marwadi lad applied for a salesman's job at  London's premier downtown department store - the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

 

The boss asked him: "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

 

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in India," replied the lad.

 

The boss liked the cut of him and said: "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see how you do."

 

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked: "How many sales did you make today?"

 

"Sir, Just ONE sale," said the young salesman.

 

"Only one sale?" blurted the boss. "No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale worth?"

 

"93,30,05,34/- Sterling Pounds," said the young Marwadi.

 

"What!!! How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

 

"Well" said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he'd be needing a boat. I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4 x 4 Blazer.

 

I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to the camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about 100 Stlg. Pounds worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

 

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment: "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook????!"

 

"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Sir, Your weekend's spoiled anyway, you might as well go fishing."

 

Boss: "You better sit in my chair....... .!!"

 

 

 

Marriage v/s Divorce

पहला - मैं शादी करने जा रहा हूँ क्योंकि

कपड़े धो-धो कर, झाड़ू लगा-लगा कर और

बाहर का खाना खा-खा कर मैं तंग आ गया हूँ !

दूसरा - कमाल है ! बिलकुल इन्ही वजहों से

तंग आकर मैं तलाक लेने जा रहा हूँ !!!

Odd demands and fit reply

पति--आज ऐसी चाय बनाओ कि पीते ही तन बदन झूमने लगे और मन नाचने लगे । 
पत्नि--हमारे यहाँ भैंस का दूध आता है नागिन का नहीं:))))