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AIDS WARNING !

AIDS WARNING !

To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this email is especially for you......... ....

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS! 
 
 
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
GARDENING AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
and
AIDS: Acute income deficiency syndrome

Some have brain and some have money... which one ur dad has........Joke

Arab person who has gone to Germany to study sends an e-mail to his Dad saying:

 

Dear Dad,

 

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad,

I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes, when all my Teachers travel by train.

 

Your Son,

Nasser.

 

Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:

 

Loving son,

 

Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.

 

 

Your Dad.  

 
 

laugh it off !!!!!

1. Mike wanted to sell his dog. His friend Jammie wants to buy it.
Jammie: Is this dog faithful ?
Mike: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

2. Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

3. Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
US President: Wow! How many?
Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

4. Man asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?
Priest: So that you will love them.
Man thinks for a short time...
Man: But why did God make them so dumb?
Priest: So that they will love you.

5. Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

6. A man was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."
Friend: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ?
Man: My wife's first husband.

7. An accountant visits a museum with a friend.
Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.
Friend: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?
Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.

8. School Teacher: What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?
Student: All of them were born on government holidays!

9. Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't have any more work.
Santa: That's all right, sir. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't ask you to give me work anyway!!

Of course, both of them....in ligher mood

A guy stops to visit his friend who has a broken leg.

His friend says, "My feet are cold.  Would you get my slippers from upstairs for me?"

The guy goes upstairs, and there are his friend's two gorgeous daughters.

The guy says, "Hi, girls.  Your dad sent me up here to kiss you."

The first daughter says, "That's not true!"

 

The guy says, "I'll prove it."

 

He yells down the stairs, "Both of them?"

His friend yells back, "Of course, both of them."

 

LAUGH IT OFF

 

The value of a # 2 B pencil       YOU WILL LAUGH OUT LOUD!! The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil. Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?' When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty!' shouted Susie. The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.. A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?' But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt. 'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie. And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep. The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?' Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!' The nun fainted.

 

How did she figure it out.... he still wonders

 

 

A Sardar furniture dealer decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back home in India . To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub and have a glass of wine. As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Punjabi & English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed. ........ ............ ........ Would you believe..... . Till date, the Sardar has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business!!!!