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Fw: This particular joke won an award for the bestjokeinacompetition organized in Britain...

> > *A Chinese walks into a bar in America one late night and he saw Steven* > *Spielberg.* > > *As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for* > *his autograph.* > > *Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed* > *our Pearl Habour, get outta here." The astonished Chinese man replied, * > *"It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese". > * > > *"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.* > > *In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the* > *Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."* > > *Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not > me."* > *The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."*

Lalooo Prasad's driver

THIS MADE ME LAUGH, BEFORE I COULD START WORKING..THIS IS FIRST MAIL I OPENED , I SAW THIS. TNX...KEEP SENDING SOME TIME HUMOR LIKE THIS.....SERIOUS TASK DONE BETTER WITH HUMOR.  Ashok  Jain

 

 

:         One day Laloo was traveling by car. He was going to a village for campaigning . Suddenly a piglet came before the car. The driver couldn't hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident . At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset He called the driver and said ,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon . Usko dhundke lav ". At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!! Laloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye , aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?" At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident . Hearing it they were rejoiced , put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some time and gave this money." Laloo then asked him "Aap unko egjactly kaa bole?" The driver replied : "Main bola, MAIN Laloo Prasad Yadav KA DRIVER HOON, MAINE SUAAR KE BACHHE KO MAR DALA HAI.........."

 

 

What is tension ??

What is Tension?   A beautiful girl asks lift from you.  On the way she faints and you take her to hospital. Doctor says 'Congrats. You are going to become a father.'   THAT'S IT. YOU GET TENSED.   You say – 'But that baby is not mine.' Girl says – 'he is only the father of my baby.'   YOU HAVE MORE TENSION.   Police comes and DNA test is done. Report comes. Which says that you can never become a father.   EVEN MORE TENSION FOR YOU.   Anyhow you thank God and return home.  Then you think,  "At home I have already 2 kids. Whose are those?"   THIS IS REAL TENSION......   :-)

WHAT IS HYPERTENSION?

Your wife looks at your kids, looks at you , smiles, holds your hand and say, I am pregnant ......  

'HYPER TENSION'.......

FW: Divine Healing

From: ashok.pagrut@gmail.com
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2010 15:40:03 +0530
Subject: Divine Healing

*An elderly couple was watching TV when a TV evangelist came on air to pray
 for the sick.

The evangelist said. "For those of you who are sick, I want to pray with you
 so that you can be cured of your sickness. Place your right hand on the part
 of your body that is suffering from disorder, and raise your left hand."

The husband placed his right hand on his privates, raised his left hand, and
 closed his eyes.

His wife saw what he did, and slowly whispered, "Honey, this prayer is to
 heal the sick, not to raise the dead!"

Fw: [Asian Heart Inst CSG] GOLDEN RULES Heart and body

 ----- Forwarded Message ----
From: P. Venkatraman <venkat.kanna@gmail.com>
To: AsianHeartInstCSG@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Mon, 23 August, 2010 8:25:20 AM
Subject: [Asian Heart Inst CSG] GOLDEN RULES FOR F***ing

 

GOLDEN RULES  FOR F***ing
   
1. F***ing once a week is good for health, but is harmful if done everyday.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation to mind & body.
   
3.F***ing refreshes you
   
4. After F***ing, don't take heavy food. opt for liquids
   
5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.
   
6. F***ing reduces weight for sure......  -

    so "FASTing" is good for health;