Laugh and learn to turn table ....

A guy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" 

The girl replied with a loud voice, "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUUU !!!". 

All the students in the library started staring at the guy, he was embarrassed. 

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said, "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed right?"

The guy responded with a loud voice,"Rs 20,000 FOR ONE NIGHT ? THAT'S TOO MUCH !"

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The guy whispered in her ears, "I study Law and know how to make someone feel guilty." 

Lawyers across the world are the same.

Indur K Chhugani  on Facebook : 

Lawyers across the world are the same.

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Gangu, has cheated him out of Rs 10,000,000.00

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Gangu would hear nothing, so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Gangu about his missing Rs 10,000,000.00 he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer: "Ask him where the money is!”

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Gangu: “Where's the money?”

Gangu signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Gangu's head and says:

"Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Gangu: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Gangu trembles and signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Taklya's house.”

The Godfather asks the lawyer: "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Do u think u hv seen such lawyers frequently????

Laloo in Microsoft

Laloo sent his BioData to apply for a post in Microsoft USA. Few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements.
...

Please do not send any further correspondence.

... No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks

Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference-

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogi ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayi hai."

Everyone was delighted. He continued "Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter padhkar sunaungaa ? Par letter angrezi mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga, ek ek line."

Dear Mr. Laloo -Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiya

You do not meet -aap to milte hi nahin ho

our requirement -humko to zarurat hai

Please do not send any further correspondence -ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahin

No phone call -phoonwa ka bhi zarurat nahin hai

shall be entertained -bahut khaatir ki jayegi

Thanks -aapka bahut dhanyavad

Bill Gates - Tohar Bilva

Wise Italian Grandfather

Wise Italian Grandfather Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.................
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos. " "Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up' "?

THE Jewish Grandma ......

THE Jewish Grandma A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?.........
"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"