three days later Jesus rose from the dead...so will my wife.....??

A man and his wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.

While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told therr
husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury
her here, in the Holy Land , for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife
home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was
buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't
take that chance.

Politicians,Police and bureacrats are the easiest to operate

While having lunch five surgeons from big cities are discussing who
makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on
my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is
numbered.”
The second surgeon, from Chicago responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians
are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know I like
construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a
few parts left over."
The fifth surgeon, from INDIA , shut them all up when he
observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians,Police and bureacrats are the easiest to operate
on. There are no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine.
Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Giving up Chocolate .....Ha ...Ha....Ha...

Giving Up Chocolate I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked,'If I give you this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of dinner?' 'No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago', the homeless woman told me. 'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked. 'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.' 'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked. 'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!' 'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money.. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.' The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.' I said,'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate.'           

Grandmas don't know everything!

Grandmas don't know everything!

Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house
...

and asked his 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the
same bedroom and one is on top of the other?' She was a little taken aback.

But she decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, dear, it's called sexual intercourse.’

‘Oh,’ Little Tony said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't
called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you.'

True but yet u can laugh

1. God - Beta, 'Mannat' maang.
Man - Please mujhe phir se unmarried kara do.
God - Beta 'Mannat' maangne ko kaha hai,"Jannat" nahi !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2. There are3 kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. Puri Life ko Sudhaarne k liye ek Wife kafi hai,
Par ek Wife ko sudhaarne k liye puri LIFE bhi kam hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4. Wives are magicians.
They can change anything into an argument ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. Women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men. WHY?

A very Intelligent Sardar replied: Women don't have a wife!